TLC Assignment May 2-8, 2012 “Yesterday’s Ghosts and the Humility Journal”

There are two kinds of self-deception that can quietly run our lives. The first is the kind that attaches powerful emotions to situations that have not been validated as real — where we conclude something is terribly wrong based on our own internal narrative rather than on facts. The second is the kind that withholds self-love until we become someone we are not yet. Both are forms of living in unreality. And both have specific, practical remedies.

Inappropriate Emotional Attachments: The Bogeyman Problem

Sometimes we end up in emotional states that do not feel good — not because of what has actually happened, but because of what we have concluded is happening. We attach emotions to something that is not taking place the way our emotions tell us it is. Why would we attach emotions to areas of our life that have not been validated as being true?

This happens all the time. We conclude bad ideas about people, places and situations. Then we attach feelings to those assumptions. We assume the worst and attach feelings to our assumptions — without checking with other people if they are seeing the same thing we are seeing. I have to ask myself with self-honesty: how many times have I seen someone going what I thought was the wrong way and it turned out I was wrong? After all was said and done, none of what my mind was telling me was what was really going on.

And yet my ego will not let me go back and say I was wrong, so I justify what is and always will be wrong: to assume the worst and then act on it. The feelings feel real. The fears feel real. But if what causes those emotions and fears is not real, then my emotions and fears — even though I am experiencing them and they are driving my actions — are nothing more than the Bogeyman. Not real until someone else validates them as real.

The Emotional Hold Off Practice

The practice that addresses this is called the Emotional Hold Off. If you have a question about whether somebody is doing something to you that hurts you — ask them. If they say no, then until proven otherwise, do not attach negative emotions to that idea you have about them. Hold off attaching emotions, especially if the emotions are hurtful.

We have areas in life where we have been hurt and where we are sensitive. And because of that sensitivity, when it comes to being hurt by people, our minds get triggered by prior injury to think someone is hurting us today when they are not — but our fears are telling us differently. This is trauma thinking applied to present circumstances.

Go to God with these negative feelings about situations or people and wait. This builds emotional strength and maturity. Ask a trusted friend: do you think the feelings I am having are validated? Or am I creating them from false perception and insecurity? Be prepared to hear the answer with God.

Commit to being aware of how much you attach emotions to situations that have not been validated as being true.

The Humility Journal: Love Energy for Yourself

To love ourselves as we are today — is this not an act of humility? This is an important question we should all ask ourselves each day: “Have I done anything today to love myself as I am today?”

It must be part of humility to stop waiting to love myself as I am. Just as we sometimes put off happiness until future conditions are met, we also put off self-love until we are better, thinner, more successful, or more healed. But that day never comes if we keep conditioning it on being someone different.

The action: look inside and answer honestly — have I been loving myself enough lately? If the answer is “I do not know,” then that is the mission: to find ways to answer “Yes, I have been loving to myself enough lately.” This requires action throughout the day to find things you love about yourself and ask your Creator to show you things in your life today to love yourself about.

Just as we give the ones dear to us Love Energy even when they are not present — sending them our warmth and care in our thoughts — so we must give ourselves Love Energy over and over throughout the day. If you are reading spiritual inspiration today, you have the desire to be a better person and have a better life. Therefore you can say: “I am trying to grow in the image of my Creator today.” That is an act of humility — and it is the register for being a good person who actively tries to live a better life each day.

If the answer is “Yes, I am trying to live a better life each day,” then the answer is also “Yes, I can love myself as I am today.”