TLC Application 06|30|2011 “Seed Of Self-Destruction”

Most self-sabotage does not look like self-sabotage from the inside. It looks like a justified reaction to an unjust situation. It looks like finally standing up for yourself. It feels like being rightfully angry, appropriately worried, or correctly suspicious. But underneath all that justification is a process — a very specific process — by which the mind twists neutral reality into evidence of disaster, and then floods the body with the emotional charge needed to act on that distortion. Understanding this process is the first step to getting free from it.

Unreasoned Distortion of Judgment

An unreasoned distortion of judgment is when we perceive something in a very stark, negative way that has no justification other than a moment when we see something we do not agree with, and decide to attach a distortion to it that makes it more severe than the reality of what is happening. It may be so severe that it is a hurtful opposite perception of what is really happening. Like when someone says “Can I help you?” and we react as if we are being told that we are not doing something correctly, when they just want to help.

This is an active alignment with the seed of self-destruction. It changes our perspective and causes us to twist things into something they are not. And then we attach emotions to our distorted perception, and those emotions become so overwhelming that we will do anything to shut them off. The emotion creates a physical charge that makes us unruly, disagreeable, jumpy, anxious, edgy, erratic and uncontrollable. Then our minds convince us that we are never going to escape from these feelings — that we will remain in this state and it will get worse.

The Trauma Cascade

Once this process starts, our energy flows to the most severe trauma we have ever faced. Whether or not we have dealt with addiction, the process is the same for everyone. Once we enter this trauma thought-realm it starts to generate an incredible amount of anxiety and fear that the trauma will happen again in the current situation. So it compounds our concerns and fears, because we have brought forward the trauma from our past lives through distortions of perception in our current lives. This process repeats itself over and over again in an endless cycle, infiltrating every area of life.

We are describing a state of mind because everything the mind perceives is affected by the state the mind is in. We feel the pain of three traumas: we defend ourselves from our past, we are afraid of repeating ourselves in the present, and we conclude that our future is going to get worse. This energy undermines any kind of balanced life we try to sustain.

Recognizing the Voice

We are looking for the kind of thinking that is too aggressive, that passes a critical judgment out of nowhere on someone or something. We are looking for when our mind is in a very savage state and looking for trouble — getting into the mode of “everything is going wrong.” When we find ourselves so stubborn that even when someone tries to show us something nice, we refuse to connect to it. When we hear the voice that says we are totally messed up right now. The voice that says everything is going to fall apart. The voice that says “you are such an idiot.”

You have to ask your Creator to allow you to hear this voice — in order to become familiar with it so you can disengage from it. You must become familiar with how these thoughts spring into your consciousness and how you attach emotions to them. Because here is the uncomfortable truth:

We are attracted to these kinds of thoughts. As impossible as it seems, we are attracted to attaching energy to destructive thoughts, for there is a momentary sense of false power before the seed of destruction turns itself on us.

The Three States of Unmanageability

When we enter into this state, our lives have become unmanageable on three levels. There is the mental state that distorts our view about everything in a negative way. There is the emotional state where we have low energy and seem to be in a state of sadness all the time. And there is the physical state of colds, illnesses, aches and pains, and the lack of ability to get up and move. This unmanageable state is what we surrender to as the power of Self — when we find ourselves here, we must surrender to the fact that we have taken our lives back into trauma lives, into fear lives.

Getting Back to Your Creator

The key here is to get back to your Creator and offer back everything you have taken back — piece by piece, thought by thought, feeling by feeling — changing your perception of all situations into what your Creator’s perception would be for you. You take your Creator back to your past and see where it has brought you to a new relationship with the God you understand today. Everything that led you to this new Power now makes sense — for you have learned to transform your past into assets and opportunities of growth.

When you become aware of negative thoughts and negative feelings, immediately offer them to your Creator. Think of them like enemy soldiers: if you pick them off in the open field, they are easy to eliminate. But if you let them burrow in, they can take forever to root out.

If you maintain a conscious contact with God or your Creator you will be more likely to become immediately aware of injurious thoughts and feelings. And when you ask for them to be removed, perform knowing that they have been removed. There is always a positive charge every time you make these kinds of connections with your Creator.