Friday, June 24, 2011
Allergic Reaction…
“Relentlessly deepening our dilemma, our sponsors pointed out our increasing sensitivity to alcohol— an allergy, they called it. The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us: first we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process. Few indeed were those who, so assailed, had ever won through in singlehanded combat. It was a statistical fact that alcoholics almost never recovered on their own resources. And this had been true, apparently, ever since man had first crushed grapes.” * 12×12, page 22
For a period of time it seems like my sole job is to not go to the past, not go to the future, and stop listening to any negative opinions that I have. Which basically means that I stop listening to me. I don’t trust me anymore. See, the true change in anybody’s life is the point where they fully admit to their innermost Self they can’t trust their Self anymore. Too much has gone on, too much trauma has taken place, too much alcohol, drugs… too much whatever it is that has gone on, where I really, truly cannot trust what comes to me. When that understanding is there that is the surrender point. That’s the “end of the old and the beginning of the new” where I’m now reaching for something outside of me, to trust that Power that I’m coming to believe in as a guide for my life… and that’s a whole trust. It doesn’t require any action, it’s just: live and let live.
Live and let be what is there; and, stop fighting and resisting it for a period of time.
Self-confidence is a liability… A total liability. Check out what else happens: Not only are you the victim of a mental obsession so powerful that your human will can’t break it, but you’re also the victim of your own thoughts that change the polarity of your body… what we call a physical allergy. So, yes, if you put alcohol or drugs in your body your body is going to take over. But by the same token, if you put anger, worry, self-pity, depression in there the same effect is going to happen. You’re going to have an allergic reaction to it. And then you have no will to resist its demands.
Once your negative thoughts get into your body, they have completely taken over and you by yourself unaided, with your human will, will never break it.
So, I had to realize, “Man, they’re not just saying that I’ve got a mental obsession, I’m dealing with the subconscious. They’re telling me that what happens is, I get into these thought bodies, these pain bodies, this thought realm that affects the polarity of my body and I can’t get out of it!” Even though I feel myself going down, even though I feel the body depolarize, even though I’m not sleeping well, I still can’t get out of it. And that’s where the only thing that can get me out of it is an “Act of Providence.” The only way I can enter that Act of Providence is assume responsibility for the position that I’m in, the feelings that I’m having, the negativity that I’m in, and realize I’ve taken it back and then once again offer it all back.
Go with the flow, live in a world where I’m just going with the flow, I’m not resisting anybody or anything.
My sole job is to find the goodness in everything and to not listen to my opinions again for a period of time. Pick a window, say, a year, I’m no longer going to listen to me. It might take six months before you get one day where you don’t enter into the picture. You’ll have to work your butt off for six months on a conscious effort to feel one day. You’ll feel relief in between there, but to really feel the magnitude of not listening to you, if a great conscious effort is applied, I would say about six months before I feel like, “Wow! I’ve stopped listening to me and I’m engaging with a Power Greater than me. What a relief! What a joy! This world is a good place that I can live in. I don’t need to resist anybody or anything. I don’t need to have an opinion anymore.”
Think about that: how can you trust your opinion any more? And where would a change take place where a philosophy could enter if you still rely on what comes to you? So, in terms of that, that’s a vow. It’s a decision to say “I don’t trust what comes to me anymore. It seems to only produce negative feelings.” Weigh it on your own scale, whatever is coming to you: does it produce good stuff or negative stuff? And if the scale is more on the negative side, why not take the step and say “I’m no longer going to listen to me” and see if something else can’t happen here in your life?
See if some kind of energy – which we call a Power-Greater-Than-Any-Human-Power – can start to show you the miracles that can take place if you just get out of the way.
It’s not that difficult. It’s more of an acceptance. So now you’re talking about action right now. Now you’re talking about ‘me’ getting out of the way. It’s an acceptance.
Much love,
K.C.
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