TLC App: The Difference Between Solitude or Isolation

There is a profound difference between choosing to be alone and being consumed by loneliness. One is a powerful spiritual practice; the other is a warning sign that must not be ignored. Understanding this distinction can be the difference between growth and self-destruction.

Why Solitude Is a Healthy and Necessary Practice

It is very important for each and every human being to find a period of time to reflect and look inside themselves — to find out what’s going on and what path they want to be on. If there’s confusion about what to do with your life, where to go, a career change, or a relationship break-up, solitude provides a great opportunity to gain deep insight into who you are and where you are at. It is very, very healthy.

Solitude is for the purpose of finding out what’s going on with us, or for creating something and communing with a Power-Greater-Than-Any-Human-Power, or for searching within.

With solitude will come thoughts and memories, which is why it is so valuable. Each person benefits from a consistent period of solitude to find out what is inside of them, who they are, and what they want to do — especially at crossroads in life. If you have the opportunity, seek solitude in the mountains or away from home and routine. But solitude can also be found simply by desire, right at home — turning off the TV, doing some reading and journaling, and sitting with the question of where your path lies. Solitude allows your inner voice — your Creator within — to express itself.

Why Isolation Is Dangerous and Must Be Addressed Immediately

Isolation is very unhealthy. Its hallmark is keeping yourself from interacting with people because of social anxiety — anxiety about what people are thinking, whether they accept you, whether they want to be around you. This thinking is a by-product of isolation, and it is extremely dangerous, especially for alcoholics and drug addicts. But this danger extends to most any human being. Isolation and loneliness are also by-products of secrets. When we carry secrets and don’t learn to share them, the by-product is isolation. We must get rid of our secrets. Shedding secrets is the best way to reconnect with the world and the people in it.

When left unaddressed, isolation does not stay quiet. Depression takes over quickly. The feeling of isolation is exactly what gets people drunk, or pulls them back into unhealthy relationships. It doesn’t mean you’re not around people — you can feel profound isolation and loneliness in a room full of people you know. The characteristic signs: spending enormous amounts of time watching TV late into the night, escaping on the internet for hours, vowing to get things done but accomplishing nothing, feeling invisible even among friends.

Isolation and loneliness become unacceptable for anyone on a spiritual path.

How to Tell the Difference — and What to Do

When you find yourself in a state of aloneness, you must recognize whether you are in solitude or whether you have actually isolated yourself into terrible loneliness. Solitude should not be confused with isolation. We must learn to be okay and happy by ourselves and find comfort in the quiet. But if the feeling is isolation — that disconnection from the world, that sense that no one wants you around — something must change immediately.

The solution is simpler than it seems: find somebody, anybody, and talk to them. You don’t have to have a scripted conversation. Just break the barrier and let someone know you’re feeling isolated and lonely. The mere expression of it to another person begins to dismantle the feeling. Then get active and start reconnecting. Whatever secret you are holding onto, it is not worth what you think it’s worth. You have not done anything that someone else has not done before. Let it go so that you can feel connected again.

Much love,
K.C.