What if the disappointment you’re feeling has nothing to do with the situation — and everything to do with the expectation you brought into it? False expectations are invisible traps we set for ourselves, and understanding them is the key to finding genuine spiritual connection anywhere.
What Are False Expectations?
What are false expectations that can’t be seen? That’s exactly why we call them false — because they’re not real, and we often don’t even know where they’re coming from. What we do is get an idea in our mind about how an event or situation should go. We bring a framework — especially in spiritual settings — of how the experience should unfold. And when reality doesn’t match our internal script, we feel let down.
This is where spiritual pride comes in. In meetings, events, and especially gatherings designed around spiritual growth, we get our “single eye” on — that fixed sense of exactly how the experience should be — and we judge it. We set it up for failure before it even begins.
The Spiritual Obligation Is Yours, Not the Event’s
Here’s the key insight: rather than looking for the event to deliver a spiritual experience, the spiritual thing to do is align ourselves with whatever is happening, no matter what. If we’re choosing to have a deep, spiritual experience at a gathering or event, then it isn’t the event that’s obligated — it’s us. We’ve obligated ourselves to have that spiritual experience.
When we forget this, suddenly the ego steps in: “This isn’t going the way it should go. I’m not enjoying myself. This is a waste of my time.” But how many times have we been in social settings or gatherings where it wasn’t right, wasn’t comfortable — and how many times was it exactly right? The ratio might surprise you. But more importantly: we were rarely the cause of either outcome.
Finding the Spiritual Experience Anywhere
I realize I have to quit judging everything. If I want deep spiritual connection in any situation, then it should be up to me to meet that connection — to find it inside of me, and to connect my inner state to that outer situation. Then I have it.
It can come in the most unexpected ways. The central driving mechanism is that core inside of me — knowing, demanding, believing — that I’m going to have a deep spiritual experience. It isn’t about framing that experience anymore. It’s about getting myself into that deep spiritual place, so that the experience can happen because it’s always available. Isn’t it?
That’s how we get rid of false expectations: recognize that deep spiritual experience is present everywhere. God is everywhere. When we forget that, we get caught up in the architecture of how it should look. But when we remember it — we get back into alignment, and we find what we were looking for all along.
- False expectations are invisible — we rarely know we have them until we feel let down
- Spiritual pride creates a fixed script for how an experience should unfold, setting it up to fail
- The obligation to have a spiritual experience lies with you — not the event, the gathering, or the people
- Deep spiritual connection is available everywhere — the work is getting yourself into alignment with it
- When you stop framing the experience and start entering your own inner presence, the experience finds you
Have fun,
Much love,
KC
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