February 5, 2010
Don’t hang your happiness on the person you are in a relationship with…
It is not their responsibility to make you happy nor is it your responsibility to make them happy… Learning to surrender to the part of us that blames others for our unhappiness is not easy, but it must be done if we plan on becoming truly happy…
Think about the times you look at your partner and wonder what it would be like if you were with someone a little more spontaneous or maybe someone a little more intellectual… Or maybe it’s “I wish he/she had a better family and they weren’t so chaotic or so uptight, man it can really be a drag around the holidays having to spend time there with them”…
There is the other side of the coin, too…Sometimes we are the ones getting the heat from our partner to do more to make them happy… They won’t come out and say it but they tell you things like… “I don’t know what it is, but I’m just not happy. I mean you’re great and all but something is just missing from my life”… This of course creates insecurity in us and we start to think of what we can do to make our partner happy… That’s when you start chasing your tail and it does not mater what you do and how much you do… They seem to be happy when you go all out but for only a short time and then you have to scramble all over again trying to make someone happy…
This is a waste of time; think about it, if you say you’re not happy because your partner is off track or they’re just not feeling very sparkly to me anymore… Know this: it’s not them, it is the way you’re looking at them… And without saying it, thinking they should know how you feel, read your mind and give you something that will snap you out of it… Snap yourself out of it with God…
You must be happy regardless of what your partner is or is not doing for you in your relationship…
You make yourself happy at work, the way you look at it or the way you tear it down all the time… Nobody in this life has the magic wand to fix you and make you happy… You must work together to find happiness but there are times in our relationship where we hold for our partner, meaning sometimes we allow for them to go through emotional pain that they have to go through, and we still support them. But we never blame them for our unhappiness…
Being happy is your choice not someone else’s obligation…
Look for the thoughts… Ask God to show you the thoughts that you have that blame others for your unhappiness… When you recognize them take your power back and stop putting it in others hands… You must decide to be happy and remove any thoughts that it is they who make you unhappy… If you find a thought that indicates you’re unhappy because of he/she, then turn the thought around and say with God that you affirm that you can be happy with or without him/her and you will not blame others for your unhappiness…
It is really cool when you remove the dependency on others and you know you must be happy by your own efforts… When you are happy by your own efforts then you end up around other people like you who know they are responsible for their own happiness… These are the kind of people who are givers and when you put two givers together you can change the world… When you put a giver with a taker you get empty set nothing… Two takers cannot coexist in the same space for there would be no air to breathe and they would just take it from each other… Givers always know they are happiest giving… Only takers blame other people for their unhappiness…
Being happy with who you are is a giving thing to do…
Much Love,
K.C.
photo credit: syusko
Well said!
We are each responsible for our own happiness.
When two people who are happy within themselves come together magic is possible.
But when one is looking outside themselves for happiness – expecting someone else to make them happy – disaster looms.
Find the happiness within you and let that light shine on others.
You can not be happy in a relationship if you are not happy in yourself.
Live Life Happy!