The application of why it is so important to remove from our lives and from our minds and from our thoughts and our words, the idea that the failings in our life are the cause of somebody else’s actions. That the pain that we’re in is because somebody did this or did that, or didn’t do this or didn’t do that; or that our lives are ruined because our mother or our father never hugged us right, or beat us, or locked us in a closet. These are all things that people go through in life, and traps us in the world that we live in, in the lives that we live in that we don’t want to live in is, in fact blame. I found out, for me, that when I blame someone for my life, or for any dilemma in my life, they now have control of my life; and, I can no longer change my life because I no longer have control over it. By the circumstance, by the lack of willingness to take responsibility for my life the way it is by my own hands, I, in fact, blame other people for my problems thinking it avoids me from having to make excuses, or it avoids me from having to look at myself; but in reality it causes me, and takes away any possibility from me of changing or having a better life because I’m mandated by something I don’t control when I do that. Then, it turns into other areas of life when I start to live in the world of blame. Then, it becomes the subconscious element of blame where the government oppresses me that’s why I can’t really blossom as a business man, or I don’t have the contacts, or the family, or the legacy to be able to produce all the things I could do because I lack funds and I lack resources. So, that’s just part of my life, I’ve never had money, so my family’s never had money. Maybe I’m just not destined to have money. I wonder if I’ll ever make it and maybe I’m just destined to be one of those people who just never makes it. I don’t make it because I’m blocked because of money, that’s blame, and what I’m doing is I’m not allowing myself to say I may not have money but I can be resourceful. If I really believe in my dream, money won’t stop me from pursuing my dream. Those kind of ideas allow people to create something from nothing, and allow them to create their destiny, but if I live with the idea of blame it starts to integrate itself into everything I do. I can’t fulfill my dream because somebody oppresses me here, or someone owes me money, or someone in my life just doesn’t let me be free, or I have to take care of my family so, I can’t live my dream, I have responsibilities. Again, that’s blame for why I’m not a full person. If I have to take care of my family so I can’t be myself or I can’t do what I really want to do, now I’m destined to my life sentencing by blaming my family; who I love and would never think ill of but, I just said because I have to take care of them, I can’t fulfill my dreams or follow my passions. Therefore, I wonder why my life never changes, and how can I ever have a good destiny if it’s already been destined by my hand. That’s called a self-fulfilling prophesy.
The subtleties of blame are so harmful because it leads to victim hood, and it leads to martyrdom; which one of the parables in the bible is do not be a martyr. Martyrdom is an addition, it’s a need that people have because if I’m a martyr then everybody takes from me, that’s why I don’t have anything. It also again, seals my fate, I can’t change anything because I’m not responsible for anything, everybody else is responsible for my oppression, for my lack of expression. It infiltrates every to area of my life, so what I want to do is to start looking at my life, where do I blame people, blame anybody just in a verbal way for doing something? in other words, I don’t get into arguments anymore where I say something inappropriate and someone says to me, “you know what you just said was totally inappropriate and hurt me,” and I have some justification by saying I did that because you were wrong and mistreated me in another situation and that’s why I did that. I just blamed you for something that I did, but the reason I did it is your fault; therefore you’re in complete control of me and I can’t change what I did, and every time you do that you control me, and I’m going to react in an inappropriate way by saying something and doing something wrong. So when I authorize myself to say wrong things to people, to be mean, and say absolutely inappropriate , violently emotionally intimate things, but to use that against them, and justify that by their behavior, or by the way that they responded;it’s totally inappropriate. I’m sentencing myself, or the person that I’m with, or anybody around me to be destined to have oppression, or blame or failings because everything is justified by everything else, and it all comes from blame.
So, I have to look at how many times I justify something because if I’m justifying something, I know I’m doing something wrong, but I’m justifying it by something else;which means I’m blaming something else. That’s the way I start finding blame, is that’s prove wrong behavior, or in fact I find myself blaming out loud someone for the conditions of my life or the conditions of a situation in my life. This is how undermining blame can be. This is an amazing application, and is worth changing your whole life by looking at the erratic emotions that come from it. Look, in fact, at every element, and every time you self-justify an inappropriate action or behavior be because of what somebody else did. That person, that somebody else now owns you, and you’ll never, ever change yourself because you’re saying I do wrong things when other people do wrong things.
Have fun,
Much love,
KC
