The difference between solitude and isolation…

It is very important for each and every human being to find a period of time to reflect, look inside their self… Find out what’s going on; find out what path they want to be on… If there’s confusion about what to do with your life and where to go, maybe a career change or a relationship break-up, solitude provides a great opportunity to get deep insight into who we are and where we are at. It is very, very healthy.

Solitude is for the purpose of finding out what’s going on with us, or for creating something and communing with a Power-Greater-Than-Any-Human-Power, or for searching within.

With solitude will come thoughts and memories, so it is very important for each person, I believe, to find time in their life to experience a consistent period of solitude to really find out what is inside of us, who we are and what we want to do. Especially if there is confusion in life… We all get periods where we feel that we are at a crossroad and we’re trying to find the right path… At this point, solitude is wonderful. If you have the opportunity, certainly finding solitude in the mountains or away from home and routine… But, also there is a way to have solitude just by the desire. Doing our nine-to-five work schedules is fine, but when we’re not working we can spend time at home not turning on the TV, but rather doing some reading, some journaling and trying to find out where our path lies. The solitude allows for our inner voice, which is our Creator within, to express itself.

Isolation is very unhealthy. The characteristic of this is that we keep our self from interacting with people because of social anxiety. Anxieties about what people are thinking. The difference between being isolated or lonely and solitude is that in isolation we have a tendency to think that other people are not accepting us, are not interested in what is going on with us, don’t find us appealing, don’t want to hang out with us… This thinking is a by-product of isolation and is extremely dangerous, especially for alcoholics and drug addicts, to feel any sense of isolation or loneliness. This is a place that alcoholics and drug addicts cannot afford to go, and is not safe for most any human being. Isolation and loneliness are also by-products of secrets. When we acquire secrets and don’t learn to relay those secrets to others to clear out of any self-judgment, self-doubt, condemnation, guilt, remorse, or regret, the by-product is isolation. We must get rid of our secrets. Especially in early recovery if you are an alcoholic, but certainly for anybody keeping secrets. Shedding secrets is the best way to get back connected to the world you live in with the people who are in it and to remove the isolation.

When we find our self in that state of aloneness, we must recognize whether we are in solitude or whether we have actually isolated our self and struck our self with terrible loneliness. Solitude should not be confused with isolation and loneliness. We must learn to be okay and happy by our self and find comfort in solitude. But the feeling of isolation is exactly what gets people drunk, or rekindles unhealthy relationships if we are not alcoholic. Again, isolation and loneliness are the by-products of secrets not being expressed… Hidden ideas… Maybe we’re in a broken relationship and we’re not addressing it, but we’re running from it. We’ve done things at work or outside of work that we don’t want people to know about. It doesn’t mean that we’re not around people, but we have a great sense of isolation and loneliness within us because we are not connecting. This is something we must change. If there is a state of isolation and loneliness it is because we don’t connect to people. Isolation and loneliness are absolutely unacceptable and should be always watched out for. It is very hard to help someone who is isolated… Depression will take over so quickly in isolation and loneliness.

It is important to recognize whether we’re isolating and creating loneliness or, in fact, we’re seeking solitude. The difference between the two: one is a healthy search within to hear our inner voice and the other is withdrawal from work, relationships and society into our self. We end up spending great amounts of time watching TV into the late night, escaping on the Internet surfing for countless hours, vowing to get up and do things but not getting anything done. We have incredible feelings of isolation and loneliness, even in a room full of people we know. When we detect this, we need to do some house cleaning and there are probably some secrets that need to get exposed. If you are feeling isolated, find somebody, anybody, and talk to them about what secrets you’re holding onto, or just break the barrier and let people know you’re feeling isolation and loneliness. Just the expression of it to another person dismantles the feeling. Then we get active and start reconnecting.

Isolation and loneliness become unacceptable for anyone on a spiritual path.

Solitude is absolutely a healthy thing that we should all approach at some point in life… Most people are afraid of solitude… That’s why we turn on the TV to become anesthetized to our self. We listen to the radio… We can’t stand it if it’s quiet. We need to learn to be okay with the stillness and the quiet… This is solitude. Solitude can be a very healthy thing for the benefits it brings, the comfort within from knowing our self. We all should seek solitude at times in our life to do some reflection and be comfortable and happy in the company of only us.

Enjoy your solitude but always get rid of your isolation and loneliness. This is an unacceptable condition, one that we must feel deep concern if recognized. If you find your self in that isolated state, get out and connect with someone and let others know what you’re feeling. The probability is that you’ve got some secrets you need to release. Remember you have not done anything that somebody else has not done before… Whatever you’re holding onto, it’s not worth what you think it’s worth… Let it go, so that you can feel connected to the world again…

Much love,

K.C.

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