February 13, 2014
Recontexturalizing our current relationships…
I love the word recontexturalizing because it is like giving our relationships a face-lift… Creating the image that we’d like our relationships to be… Looking inside and asking our selves a real purposeful question: “How have I been in my personal relationships with my friends, my family and the one I love, my lover?” When I look inside I try to make a checklist: Have I been nurturing lately? Have I been looking at my relationships with the love that I’d like them to look at me with? Have I been attentive to my relationships?
It’s always good to reinvigorate your relationships… When you’re walking throughout your day and someone strikes your consciousness and comes to mind – a family member, a friend or the person you’re in love with – this is an indicator of your inner voice telling you to reach out to them and express your love. Express the thought; express the feeling that you just had with them in your mind. This is what reinvigorates our relationships… This is what puts that pure juice back into those relationships. When it comes to family and friends, this is a great time to reinvigorate those relationships by calling out and saying, “Hey, I was just thinking about you and I want you to know how much I care about you.” Your family members, it’s so important… We should never be afraid to let them know how we feel. It is so important to express our feelings on a consistent basis… Not just once in a while on birthdays and holidays but on a regular basis.
It’s always important to look inside and ask the question of “How have I been toward my personal relationships lately? What more can I do to add to them?” One of the greatest gifts of personal relationships is collecting those Polaroid or Kodak moments, those images we have of family, friends and lovers that represent why we’re with them… The magic that we feel when we’re with them… This magic never dies… What we learn to do is keep the magic alive. The magic is kept alive by putting thought-energy into our primary relationships… Positive thought-energy…
We have dynamic relationships because we build them. It isn’t about what our partners do; it’s about what we do.
Think about the person you’re in love with… Are they as “good as gold” to you? If you’re married or in a monogamous committed relationship, do you look at your partner and consistently remind yourself that they are as “good as gold?” They can do no wrong in your eyes? You uplift them… Right or wrong is not what it’s about; it’s about them knowing that they are supported 100% in whatever they are doing. Have you considered what their emotional state is lately? Have you said something positive or uplifting about what they do for you and how important they are in your life? Have you put thought-energy into what they do for you and how important they are in your life? These thoughts trigger great emotion, great passion and instigate passion back into all of your relationships.
But on a personal relationship with a lover, that person that you want to have that magical romance with, ask yourself a question again, “Have I been romantic? Am I being romantic in my relationship?” Have you become complacent? Sometimes we get into a relationship, and after a time we don’t comb our hair as much… We don’t groom our selves as much anymore… We live with that person so we get comfortable and think “Oh, they see us this way all the time.” But, I think that it is really important that the longer that you are in a relationship the more you should be looking at personal hygiene and etiquette. You always want to stay appealing to your mate… But we drop these habits out of comfort and then wonder why we’ve lost the spark. The spark isn’t lost because of what they are doing… Most of the time it is because of what we are doing.
The spark that you are looking for in your relationship is that spark that you must give to your relationship.
So, for your lover, look inside and find out what you can do to be more romantic, to be more passionate, to be more of a sexually appealing partner. You should be bringing flowers to the one you love. Maybe it’s what you do to uplift your mate by telling them to go enjoy their self, have a good time, give them a little freedom. Women always love to be romanced… They love cards… Don’t just get a card and sign it… Get a card and write something in it from your heart… It doesn’t matter what it reads like, just so they know it comes from your heart and you put effort into it. For both men and women, write something in your own handwriting that says, “I thought this out and I want you to know how I feel about you.” Reassure your mate and let them know how much they mean to you, how important they are in your life, and that they’re the sexiest one in the world. And guys, women always like to know that they’re beautiful, because they are! The beauty really comes from you looking inside and recognizing all the beautiful moments you have together.
This thought-energy is so important in our personal relationships. With Valentine’s Day coming up, don’t let that just be a time of “I love you, I love you, be my valentine.” Let that be a feeling that you want to create every month. There should be one day a month where they are your valentine and you let them know why they are your valentine.
If you are lacking in your relationship and you see areas that are lacking or have gone a little flat, don’t expect your partner to spark them up. You spark them up and you’ll trigger a spark in them. Test it out today… Before you go home, as you’re on your way home, think about your partner and think about what you love about them… How much you like holding them, what is the greatest physical place you like to be with them in, what are their physical attributes that you enjoy… What are the attributes of their mind, the way it operates and the way they think that you love… What is it about their soul, their passion that you love… And when you get home see if they haven’t picked up on your frequency… Make sure that you project the frequency that you felt when you thought about all of their characteristics that you’re attracted to in them.
Let your loved one know that you’re interested in their passion and they will reciprocate by letting you know they’re interested in your passion. These are qualities in relationships that keep them exciting and sparkling. Always carry a thought, too if you’re in a marriage or a monogamous committed relationship that you’ve been in for a while, that you are saying to this person, “I’m not going to be with anybody else. I’m going to be with you, one day at a time, for the rest of my life as it stands.” We don’t have to worry about the future, but what we do want to recognize is, “Am I treating my partner, today, as though I am going to be with them one day at a time for the rest of my life?” And this helps us to recognize how to better interact with them, how not to take things so seriously, how not to be short-sighted. Because we must recognize that we’re going to be with them one day at a time for the rest of our life, and are we treating them that way today?
When we’re looking at our relationship, if we want joy we must think joy into it. If we want excitement, we must think excitement into it. Think exciting thoughts about them. What are some of the exciting moments you’ve had? Recapture them! Groom yourself a little better… We can always tighten our selves up. Think about how you can present yourself better. Put on cologne or perfume at night, a nice little pajama outfit that looks appealing… Just take it in your relationship and act like you just started dating… Why not? How would it be if you just started dating them and it was the first 90 days of dating? Resurrect some of those thoughts and feelings from then… Randomly give flowers, cook a meal… Randomly take acts that say, “I love you, you’re the one I’m with and I want you to know how special you are to me.” This is how relationships get back into the energy of excitement because we recharge them all the time. We look inside our selves and wonder, “What can I do to recharge my relationship? How have I been thinking about them lately? Have I been thinking energetic, loving thoughts, sexual thoughts, connective thoughts?” And when you think about those thoughts, don’t just think about them, act on them! Make sure you make that expression…
Make your expression in your relationship and watch the magic take over and the spark reignite over and over again.
This is how we bring passion back into our relationships. By putting passionate thought-energy into them, and taking passionate actions again. Do something from your heart as much as you can… Don’t get down on yourself if you haven’t been attuning to it, but look at whether you have questioned your relationship or been uplifting it. Get back on the uplifting part… Make a list of assets within your relationship… The things you love about them, the things that you really admire, and the things that make you physically excited about them. Keep those active, and then let them know what your list is! Make your own personal list about what you like about their mind, what you like about their body, and what you like about their soul. And then let them know what that list is – slowly… Feed them little pieces… Just take something off your list today and try it for a week… A week of great assets with your partner and each day tell them something special that you recognize about them and see what happens in terms of what you want in your life and your loving relationships.
Have fun.
Much love,
K.C.
This material is copyrighted and owned by Thought-Life Connection (TLC) and is not to be reproduced or used without the author’s consent. © 2010